FuuZzi

A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, I lived believing that even though my pseudo-relationship was falling apart, I could manage. But I didn't. Like many of you, I believed that all I had to do was try, but one day... I got tired. I didn't even want to argue anymore about the fact that he would like to go on a 3-week holiday without me and visiting Poland, Italy, and France "He already said that is not my business." anyway. I didn't want to argue about the fact that he was going to visit a "friend" first for two days first, or as he later put it "his unhappy love". I didn't even want to scream anymore out of grief about losing the job and that I liked, the third job I wanted to keep. In 2014 he left me with £30 a week. I lost my job... my son was only 3 years old and there was no one to leave him with. I had a very nice job, in a cafe on a platform in a town that was not far away. I used to go there by bus. Before that I tr...

 Yes, I live in England and yes I am at my home!  When I am in Poland I am on vacation. I am in a country that has never allowed me to move out away from my toxic mother home who, ever since she started drinking, occupied my bed after a party, leaving me nothing to sleep on when I was coming back home at the age of 16th years old. Anyway, I heard mostly that "You are not at yourself home" because it was her home, not mine so I had nothing to say. One day, When she threw away ALL my stuff - clothes, cosmetics, toys, board games - Because it was supposed to be a punishment for disobedience. I returned home and had nothing, being 17 years old... So, I was taking nothing, because I had nothing, began to sleep anywhere, and later at a friend's house with the consent of her Mom and My Dad. For many years I lived in Poland with my Mom and brother. In the meantime "We" moved to a smaller apartment when I was 17+ years old.  As there were three rooms, my mother said we c...

 It's nicer in the basement... I don't think I'll ever understand houses so big that they could house a family of 20 and only have one, two...well three tenants at most. And not happy ones, because they should have no reason to be. They are unhappy because they have been taught to live in these big houses full of abundance as if they were in a fucking museum. More than once, this has been the situation in a cramped room - in a room, in a kitchen, or even in a basement - we crowded in 10 people to be with each other when it was cold outside or raining.  The small room was full of laughter, music, and positive vibes. There may not have been 50 dishes to choose from and 300 types of alcohol, but we had a   great time. Not many of my friends could live in a big house when they had families and earned anything. Maybe that's a good thing because many of them are happy with little or no money and still traveling the world. I grew up on a dirt estate in modest conditions. But I...

 You might as well use Morse code to speak your thoughts. I tried to get along with women for many years and finally gave up...     (google translate doesn't understand he/she things too)  I tried to get along with women for many years and finally gave up when I realized why I couldn't understand them (I know it's weird because I'm a woman too) and messed up when talking to most of them - we have a completely different language. As a child, I was left at home with my brother, who was seven years older, but when I grew up and could go out in the yard, I knew all of my brother's friends, who also partly raised me because they would come home to play with him while my mom was at work and I was with him. Since they were also supposed to watch over me in the backyard, they would sit near the sandbox and playground, and I would sit with them at their house when my brother wanted to visit them. Because of this, I didn't have many woman-friends, as I only had one throug...

I suffer from the madness of others and my own body too. Suffer from the madness of others. and still, be a good person, - that's the value! In the past I was affected by Atopic Skin ALLERGY MORE OFTEN THAN NOW. then the body was very fickle, it likes to panic and I have to watch out for it. On what I eat, what I wear, what I touch, what I wash my clothes in and where and with whom I spend time. It is all about allergies. No, I don't have the usual allergies that most people have, such that I eat a peanut and suffocate (I'm not belittling - it's a very dangerous allergy), but I do have some that appear suddenly or have always been there, only now, at one point, they appear with such intensity as if they wanted to kill me. Such allergies include, for example, a sudden allergy to soap, cleaning products or cosmetics. In 3 minutes without warning and even when I have already used a super extra hypoallergenic cosmetic several times. (It's funny that someone can still as...

My Passion and hobbies turned into a business. I became fascinated with psychology at the age of 16. When I fell into a severe depression and decided to treat it myself, by gaining more KNOWLEDGE! from books, psychology guidance books and pieces of training available! I didn't take any pills I just decided to approach the problem from a different angle. Because why should I go to a psychologist who has read books that I can read too, and let her judge me? Why should I give myself a list of chemicals to put in my body as  "HapPy pills" when they have such a long list of side effects?   When I fell into a severe depression I decided to treat it myself, by gaining more KNOWLEDGE!  This of course stayed with me, not the depression, but the knowledge. As you can probably guess, I didn't stop at exploring the human psyche in the context of said depression, but I went further.... much further and that's how my story began nearly 20 years ago... I was fascinated by how mu...