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I have got 2 options, how about you?

 I have two options... Either I will be pissed or happy 😉 . I guess it wasn't always like that, because I remember when I was little I cried a lot. So I must have felt sad too, although those memories are kind of blurry. And as soon as I start digging into them e.g. during meditation I just start "roaring" and crying... For several days.... for no reason. (I guess that's why during meditation sometimes you need a human guide.) There is nothing more there than a little childish grief and sadness that pours out and has no end. I don't know what I'm looking for myself. Maybe it's meant to be this way. I am 35 years old and today My life is ruled by two emotions, being furious and joyful. Both are uncontrolled, impetuous, and intertwined with each other. Interestingly, I can go from annoyance to laughter and vice versa very quickly. I don't know why or what has crowded out my other emotions. I do not feel all emotions or not feel them such as long as thos

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