A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, I lived believing that even though my pseudo-relationship was falling apart, I could manage. But I didn't. Like many of you, I believed that all I had to do was try, but one day... I got tired. I didn't even want to argue anymore about the fact that he would like to go on a 3-week holiday without me and visiting Poland, Italy, and France "He already said that is not my business." anyway. I didn't want to argue about the fact that he was going to visit a "friend" first for two days first, or as he later put it "his unhappy love". I didn't even want to scream anymore out of grief about losing the job and that I liked, the third job I wanted to keep.
In 2014 he left me with £30 a week. I lost my job... my son was only 3 years old and there was no one to leave him with. I had a very nice job, in a cafe on a platform in a town that was not far away. I used to go there by bus. Before that I tried to work in a hotel cleaning unfortunately it didn't work out because when I came home a drunk guy wouldn't wake up himself to look after a baby crying who was hungry and with a dirty nappy when I came home from work. One day it scared me so much that I quit my job at the hotel. But you know, "He was having a day off work" and it was my fault for not coming back in time to feed my son, there was no cooperation and all. Even though he knew what time I finished work. I also tried cleaning for 2 hours every morning to work less than 30 hours, at a restaurant nearby. But that didn't work either. My boyfriend didn't get up in the morning to take care of the baby, nor did he get up at night to take care of the baby. And I, exhausted by the wake-up calls, had to take a shower after taking painkillers and lubricate my whole body with steroid medication. Feed, change the nappy... And leave at 7am. I very rarely managed to get to work on time.
Anyway, on that fateful day when I went to the hospital for the first time, not of my own free will, my son then had a fever of 40 degrees, I had a fever too. And we had to go and top up the electricity at the post office because it had run out. Some grandmother at the post office saw that I was wobbling on my feet, barely standing. And she called an ambulance even though I didn't want to. And so began the treatment of my skin, which was in a tragic state and made it much harder for me to function.
I stayed for half a day under a drip in the hospital but they had nothing to do with the baby so they sent me home. They even looked around the hospital for someone to take care of my son so that I could stay. But fortunately, my ex-boyfriend was on holiday, my brother was still at work and my phone died soon. I probably wouldn't have found anyone to stay with the baby while I was in hospital anyway. After this situation, I called the ambulance home a few more times because I also had heart problems.
If I had someone who could stay with my son for more than the 5 hours he was at the nanny's, twice a week and then at nursery school. Then maybe I would have found a job and not earned myself thousands of pounds...
What I did do soon after? I had enough and I was so tired of trying to exist with my skin infection, eczema, drunk guy, no opportunities to take a job, and a lack of food at home. Also, his screaming at me wasn't been helpful. What's more, I promised my son he will not live like that as he was scared of his Father's voice and soon after every Males voice too. And I didn't believe in that situation can be even worst for me and I was right. I was taking all solutions already including AA and living like a no-couple just for a child as well, nothing was working and I was so, so tired of the situation I had. Can you relate to it? So you are in a good place to take a hand and go to www.fuuzzi.com and call me / book now and run away. I wish to have had a person like me know in the past to get some help as it took me 3 months to get the skills and knowledge to move on and make an escape.
I ran away from that town to rescue and found a job after 3 months in another town. As a single mother, I was able to have food from the church and child allowances that I didn't have before. And a friend from college who I met here would stay with my son or take him to school so I could work. I continued the schooling I had started in the previous town to learn English and to be able to get a better job than
I DON'T LOSE IT, I'm glad I had the opportunity to live it, at least I had the chance to learn a lot and I got to know all these institutions that help in uk, most of them are free and there are some cheap ones. I now know how not to end up on the streets, how to report to a hostel where I myself was for two years in a new city. How to look for a job, get benefits and not get down on yourself when you have £30 a week and a child.
Now I'm helping others, I'm happy to help them and I say boldly that what may seem scary at the beginning is not so scary at the end. You will cope and I believe in you, and with my help, you certainly will.
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